For the Love of a Brother
by Tauna Petit-Strawn
Summary: Ben is shocked when he returns home to find two of his sons fighting for their lives. All three sons really should be in the character choice spot. I stink at summaries. Please read anyway. WARNING; MAJOR character death.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

*I am inserting this not as of March 11, 2012...This story is labeled Adam and Hoss NOT because they make the most appearance but it is centered on what happened to bring their situation about. Because it's told from Little Joe's POV, he appears the most-that does not change my mind about what the story is all about though.

**For the Love of a Brother**

**Chapter One**

A cold north wind blew over the Ponderosa as Ben turned Buck in the direction of home. Home, one word that sure sounded good at the moment. He'd left the week before to attend his goddaughter's wedding. He would have loved for one of his sons to accompany him, but none could. Little Joe had married a young woman by the name of Carolyn Thompson and they had been getting ready to leave on their honeymoon when he left, Hoss had a desperately sick calf to tend to and someone had to run the ranch which, of course, meant Adam had his hands full.

By the time he turned the corner of the house, night had just began to set. Ben was tired and hungry. All he wanted to do was eat a hearty supper, relax in front of a fire and crawl into his nice warm bed. Alas, it was not to be. The moment the house came into sight his heart froze. Dr. Martin's carriage was outside the house and that could mean only one thing-either Hoss or Adam had been hurt. Ben flew off Buck and quickly tied him to the hitching post in front of the house. He then wasted no time bursting through the front door.

The moment the front door opened up Hop Sing, who had just come out of the kitchen, started talking excitedly. "Good see you home, Missa Ca'tw'ight. Boys need honorable father." Before Ben had a chance to ask what happened he was shocked to see his Carolyn hurrying down the stairs.

"Pa!" she shocked him by running up to him and hugging him for all she was worth. He was thrown into more of a shock when she added, "You're home! Thank goodness your home!"

"What worked? What happened?" Ben took a hold of Carolyn's shoulders and pulled her off of him gently. "Where's Little Joe? Where are the other boys?" He did his best not to panic, as he couldn't help but fear the worst.

"I'm here." Little Joe hurried down the stairs and over to his wife and father. Wrapping his arms around Carolyn, Little Joe held her tight, after the events of the past week, he needed to know he had a secure hold on his wife. He explained to his father that Dr. Martin was tending to Hoss and Adam.

"So," Ben couldn't stop his voice from rising, "How are your brothers, and what happened?" He didn't like the uneasy look in his youngest son's eyes, or the uncomfortable aurora that surrounded his daughter-in-law and Hop Sing.

Little Joe glanced towards the stairs and his shoulders slumped slightly. "Hoss has a broken leg, cuts and bruises, and he was shot once, but I was able to get the bullet out and put the leg in splints. He's sleeping; he'll be fine as long as an infection doesn't set in." He fidgeted as he again glanced up towards the stairs and then looked at Carolyn. He wasn't surprised to see her biting her lip and turning her head slightly.

Fear gripped at Ben's heart. He stiffened as he looked at his youngest, "What about Adam? What happened to him? Is Dr. Martin with him right now?" He wanted to throw out a thousand other questions, but instead waited for Little Joe to answer.

"I…" Little Joe struggled to control his own fear, not wanting it to be heard. "I don't know. He…he was shot…he took bullets meant for Carolyn and myself. Dr. Martin has been with him for some time. That's why I had to take Hoss's bullet out. Adam needed Paul more."

Ben gasped. Took bullets! Adam had been shot more than once saving his brother and sister in law? He looked at Carolyn. She could not hide the fear in her eyes. "I am going to go up and see what's going on with Adam, and then I want to be told what on earth has been going on while I was away!" he hurried up the stairs and disappeared down the hallway. Little Joe hurried up behind him while Carolyn went to sit with Hoss.

It didn't take long for Ben and Little Joe to reach Adam's room. They wasted no time in entering the room, though they did it as quietly as they could. Dr. Martin might have chewed them out, but he had just finished stitching Adam up and covering his work with cloth wraps that Hop Sing had ripped from cotton sheets and boiled the germs out of.

The good doctor pulled Adam's blanket up and laid it across the man's chest, making sure his arms were resting on the top of it. "Hello again, Little Joe. Wish I could say it was good to see you, Ben." Paul talked quietly as he headed for the door, "Let's the three of us talk out there."

Ben wanted to stay by Adam's side, or go check in on Hoss, but he followed his youngest son and the doctor out into the hall, quietly shutting the door to his eldest's son's room. Only when the door was shut, did Paul begin to speak.

"How much has he been told?" Paul asked as he looked at Little Joe, who was squirming slightly. Paul didn't want to make any assumptions and start throwing out too much information at once. He didn't need another patient on his hands at the moment.

"Nothing," Ben growled softly shooting his youngest a scowl, "I haven't been told a blasted thing!" Then he softened his tone as he got a hold of himself. "Then again, I just walked in the door. What is going on?" His eyes bore into both the doctor and his son. He was confused and in the dark, and he didn't like either one.

"I don't know the whole story myself, Ben, you'd have to talk to Little Joe here to get the full details; well, that or talk to Roy." Paul sighed as he continued, "All I can tell you is Hoss should count himself blessed; Little Joe has become not only a great rancher, but has a bit of medical knack to boot. The young man that was to be training under me has not arrived, and Adam could not wait for me to work on Hoss. Neither, dare I say, could Hoss have waited while I helped his older brother."

Ben sucked in his breath and then asked, as calmly as he could, "Will they be all right?" He knew what Little Joe had said, but he wanted to hear it from Paul as well.

For a moment the good doctor did not speak. When he did, it was with cautious optimism. "As long as Hoss does not develop an infection, he should be fine." Paul hesitated when it came to talking about Adam. That did not help put Ben at ease. "I don't know about Adam, Ben. I got the bullets out, but a lot of damage was done. All we can do is pray and hope. I will be back first thing in the morning." Paul turned and walked away.

After the good doctor had left, Little Joe sighed. "Could we at least sit down somewhere to talk?" He didn't want to stand in the hallway for hours, and that's exactly what he knew he'd be doing, once he started explaining and describing the events that now had his family worried while two of them fought for their lives.

Ben looked towards Hoss's opened door. Carolyn was sitting next to his bed reading a book. He opened Adam's door up slowly and answered, "We can talk quietly in here. I don't want to leave Adam alone either."

Little Joe made no objection, as he followed his father back into the room and found a place to sit, while Ben did the same. It was going to be one very long night.


	2. A Wedding and an Enemy

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

**For The Sake of a Brother**

**Chapter Two**

Little Joe walked into Adam's room after Carolyn relieved him of his watch over Hoss. His brother had developed a slight fever due to an infection that had set in. Dr. Martin had given them medicine to give the gentle giant, and Joe prayed the medicine would do its job. Now, he stood in his oldest brother's room not surprised to see his father asleep in the chair next to the bed. The man had slept very little since arriving home. Little Joe sighed and sat down on the only other chair in the room.

While Little Joe gazed upon the brother who had put himself in the line of fire to save him and his new bride, his mind wandered back over the past week. How had a week that had started out so full of promise turned into such a nightmare? Even though he had already told his father the story, he leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and let his mind wander. Of course, in spite of the futility, he found himself reliving the past week.

_"Stand still, Joseph, you look like a fish out of water," Adam admonished in a whisper, as he stood next to his younger brother facing the alter, waiting for Carolyn's father to escort her up the aisle in the church, "Or are you are having second thoughts, because if you are, you need to stop this before it goes any further."_

_"I'm fine, or I will be," Little Joe whispered back, "I'm just nervous." Nervous was the understatement of the year, more like extremely over anxious, only he wasn't going to admit that. When the music started playing, Little Joe forgot everything else, his eyes glued on his bride. Her dishwater blonde hair was worn half up in a halo of fresh flowers with softer curls cascading on to the shoulders of her flowery white dress. Her veil secured by her head dress touched the floor just enough to caress it as she walked up the aisle, bathed in light and a smile that competed with the sun itself. _

_Later, after the ceremony, he'd had been able to keep enough control over his emotions to be a polite host, along with his father and brothers and to the many guests that showed up at the house. That being the case, no one had any reason to pay attention to anything that wandered, or stood, outside the radius of the front yard. Unfortunately, that meant the gentlemen that sat on their horses a good four hundred yards from the Cartwright home went unnoticed._

_The thin dark haired gentleman, who sported a mustache that could have worn him the ugliest mustache award of the year, was none other than Carolyn's ex-fiancé, Simon. C. Bywater. A man of two faces; one he showed to the public and another he showed after dark when associating with other con artists, gamblers, and other forms of criminals. He was also a man used to getting what he wanted, and he'd wanted Carolyn. As he watched the party he fumed, his thoughts on the last time he'd seen Carolyn, the last time he'd been with her._

_That day at the bank had forever been etched in his mind. He had come so close to having his betrothed transfer over her shares to a joint account. However, it was an unfortunate day for him when Ben Cartwright had confronted him and his true motives. That's when the man 'had the nerve' to 'help Carolyn see the truth'-that he, Simon, had lied without a second thought and could not be truly trusted; that all Simon C. Bywater wanted was a way to get to her father's money. _

_To add salt to his wounds, Simon Bywater loathed the day Little Joe started courting Carolyn. It did not take long for him to embellish his fantasy with the idea that it was Little Joe who had put his father up to getting Carolyn away from him and that the youngest Cartwright had planned all along to court the girl. After all, if he married her, it would now give __**him**__ a way to her money. _

_Simon had tried to prove to Carolyn he'd 'changed' and had tried a number of times to get her away from Little Joe. Then, unexpectedly, a Marshall had ridden into town and he had "found it necessary to make a fast exit.", telling people that he had business to take care of. Truth was that Marshall knew him by another name, Karl. He, Simon, had no intention of having him find out he had been using a false name, nor did he want Carolyn finding out the reasons for such a fraud. _

_"They got married!" Simon hissed through his teeth._

_The men with him were his cousin, Tyler, and his brother, James. Both men had served time in prison for everything from fraud to robbery. Over the years, they had listened to Simon's lies and had been stupid enough to believe them this time also. "Looks like," Tyler put out the cigarette he'd been smoking and threw it down in a small patch of dirt, "guess you can't win them all. Let's get to California and start that job James and I told you about."_

_"No!" Simon hissed again, he had an annoying habit of hissing when he was upset, "She's coming with us! She was mine until he stole her away from me! I told you that!" He just had to figure out a way to get her away from the Cartwrights was all. As the guests began leaving, Karl, his cousin and his brother thought it best they head off too. They didn't want to be seen, they had other plans. . _

_"Night, Little Joe, Carolyn." Roy shook their hands once more before mounting his horse. "Congratulations again." _

_The Cartwrights watched him ride away and then started cleaning up. By morning, Ben was on his way to his goddaughter's wedding, and Little Joe and Carolyn were getting ready to leave on their honeymoon._


	3. Missing

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

A/N This and a number of the following chapters will be in italics-as they are memories.

**For the Love of a Brother**

**Chapter Three**

_Little Joe opened the front door and then picked up Carolyn's luggage, he would have to come back for his. Carolyn was standing by the horses when he threw the items in the back of the wagon. "I'll be back and then we'll be on our way." He gave her a kiss and hurried back inside. _

_Little Joe felt as if he was walking on air as he went for his luggage. He headed for it only to hear Hoss let out a holler in the kitchen. He whirled around and busted up laughing. Hop Sing was chasing Hoss out of the kitchen and waving a spatula at him. "Missa Hoss no eat food before cooked!"_

_"Dadburnit, Hop Sing!" Hoss protested, as he shook his hand up and down, trying to get rid of the sting the china man had inflicted up on it, "I was only tryin' ta get a little taste! That's all!"_

_Little Joe grabbed his bag, laughed and hurried outside. It took only minutes for him to put the bag in with Carolyn's and help her up into the wagon. Hoss hurried outside. He didn't want them to leave when he hadn't said his proper goodbyes. "Take care of yerselves and have fun, see you when ya get back." He was grinning from ear to ear._

_"Don't worry 'bout us, big brother," Little Joe answered as he picked up the reins, "We'll be just fine." He brought the reins down and started on their journey._

_Hoss watched them until they disappeared and then headed towards the barn. He'd gotten very little sleep due to the sick calf he was tending to. He was hoping the poor thing was still making progress, as he really wanted to lie down and get a decent sleep. _

_"Hey, there," Hoss knelt down by the side of the calf and started talking to it, relieved to see it was indeed getting better. "Ya gave me quite the scare there, don't need ya to go dyin' on me, ya know?" He continued talking to the animal for a good thirty minutes when he heard a horse approaching, and it sounded like the rider was pushing him. He stood up and hurried outside._

_His eyes widened when he saw the rider was Adam. He was supposed to be checking fence lines and talking to their hired hands about a project their father had in mind. The man looked as if the sky had just fallen. "What is it, Adam? What's wrong?" He asked the questions before he noticed the hat that rested on top of Adam's saddle horn. His eyes widened even more and he felt his heart start to race. "That's Little Joe's! What happened?"_

_Adam shook his head and barked, realizing that Hoss would not have the answers he had hoped. "I don't know, but the wagon is standing by itself a mile down the road; it's back wheels are lying on alongside the road. I was hoping Joe and Carolyn had made it back here. There are signs of other riders, at least two, maybe three."_

_Adam was visibly upset and scared. Both knew of only one person who may have reason for causing Little Joe and Carolyn problems, Simon Bywater; Carolyn's ex fiancé, very unstable ex fiancé'._

_Hoss shook his head. He didn't like this. "I'll tell ya what. That calf is doin' good enough fer now, I'll hurry and saddle Chubby, and we can start looking for them. Iffn' we can't find them, we'll have ta let Roy know."_

_"I already sent Jason into town. Michael went to get some of the other men so they could start searching. I just came to get you and," he said as he dismounted Sport, "to get a few things before we start." He hurried into the house._

_Hoss didn't ask what his brother was talking about, he figured the man was talking about extra bullets in case they ran into trouble. It didn't take him long to get his horse saddled and get his own gun fully loaded, along with grabbing extra shells himself._

_**000**_

_Carolyn's heart beat fast as James threw a bound and unconscious Joe down next to her. She had never met Tyler or James and had no idea why the two men had ridden up to them, knocked out Little Joe before he knew what hit him and then brought them to a remote shack on the Ponderosa. She tried to get the men to talk. "What do you want from us?" she begged._

_An evil grin appeared on both men's faces, but it was Tyler that answered, "Let's just say a friend of ours has unfinished business." He then turned and walked out of the hut, leaving James to secure Carolyn to one of the few chairs. _

_Again, Carolyn tried to get some answers. "Who are you?" She asked desperately, as she tried to study the man's face. She felt strongly that she should know the man, there was something familiar about him and yet she was sure she had never met him before.. Somehow, she wasn't surprised when the man did not answer her question._

_"Don't worry 'bout me!" James' grin again sent chills down her back. "I'd be worryin' more 'bout that man of yours, once my brother gets here." He laughed. His laugh held the tone of someone gone insane and it sent shivers down her spine and all the way to her toes. He then turned and walked out the door. _

_Looking over to a nearby table, she noticed that the men had, without thinking, left a pistol laying out in the open. With James standing right outside the window, Carolyn did her best to loosen the ropes around her wrists without moving enough to draw attention. If she could just get free, she might be able to get the firearm, free Little Joe and get away._


	4. Search begins

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

**For the Love of a Brother**

**Chapter Four**

_Roy wanted to find a way to adjust the heat of the sun as he rode with Hoss, Adam and the men they'd gathered to search for the missing couple. He'd not been surprised to hear just what Adam's suspicions were. After all, everyone knew how warped Mr. Bywater was. Unfortunely, without proof the lawman couldn't exactly go after the man. That being the case, he was stuck riding one mile after another, up and down roads and paths hoping for something, anything, that would lead him and the men to Little Joe and Carolyn Cartwright. _

_"Follow me, we found somethin.'' Hoss rode up to where Adam was mounted on his horse talking to Roy. The gentle giant had been in a separate search party and was just now meeting up with his older brother and the lawman. "Come and look." He turned his horse around and led Adam, Roy and the search team with them to a small clearing. _

_Adam was confused; as far as he could see Hoss had led them to what looked to be a fire pit, but it was old and there was nothing unusual lying around, something that would say "Look at me!" He looked at Hoss, doing his best not to looked annoyed. "What is it?"_

_"If'fn ya'd look closer, ya'd see!" Hoss, his eye brows turned down and his lips barely separated, in order to allow him to talk, pointed to the ground near one of the rocks that sat around the fire pit. _

_Adam leaned forward and felt his heart drop. Someone had carved the initials JFC and CC on the ground. It had to be more than a coincidence. "Are there any tracks nearby?" The urgency he felt, the one that said to find his brother and sister-in-law, grew. Time was wasting; they needed a direction in which to look. _

_Before Hoss could answer, Jason hollered down from a nearby hill. "Roy! Adam! Hoss! Come up here!" The man waved as he spoke. He got the desired response. It didn't take the three men long to join Jason and the men with him._

_The moment Adam and Hoss rode up the hill, Jason handed them Carolyn's bonnet. "I found it near that trail. Adam," the man said as he leaned forward on horse, "I know I don't have any proof, but I think Carolyn's the one leaving us clues."_

_Adam nodded, as did Hoss, Roy and the men with them. Seeing how there were a couple of paths that could have been taken, they broke into groups of three to four men and each group took a separate trail, Roy and Jason following the two brothers._

_"It has gotta be Bywater's behind this," Hoss looked over at Adam whose face held no emotion as his eyes wandered from one side to the other trying to find something, anything, that would say they were still on the right track, "no one else has a reason to go after our little brother and Carolyn."_

_"Not that we know of ," Adam answered as they turned around yet another bend and had to duck in order to avoid being hit by a tree branch that was hanging down, "let's just hope we find them soon. The longer they're missing the worse it could be." That was something he didn't have to tell Hoss, Roy or Jason. They already knew it._

_While Adam and Hoss had been talking Jason had been quietly thinking. Truth was, he'd seen James and Tyler the week before. Unlike Carolyn, he knew who they were. He'd been apprehensive when he saw the men in town, but there was nothing he could do about it at the time. It's not like they'd broken the law. Until maybe now? He thought as he searched the trail they were on and wondered where or who it may lead them all to. "Adam, didn't you say you'd had trouble with Simon Bywater camping out on the Ponderosa?"_

_Adam stiffened as he recalled the trouble they'd had with Simon. It was just after Carolyn had broken off the engagement to Bywater's. Adam's countenance suddenly changed and he, with conviction, replied, "The line shack we no longer use!" He spurred Sport, as did his brother, Roy and Jason._

_**000**_

_"Oh," Little Joe groaned as he came to and struggled to sit up, "What…" he opened his eyes as he managed to at least sit up and look around. He was horrified to see his wife sitting tied to the chair and a bruise on her cheek. He his eyes filled with fire and he began to do what he could to get his wrists out of the rope with which they were bound._

_"I was almost loose." She tried to smile as she saw the look on Little's Joe's face and watched his struggle. "But the thinner gentleman came in just as the rope was starting to loosen up. He didn't appreciate my efforts. Are you having any better luck?" She asked as she tried, again, to loosen up her own ropes. Alas, it was to no avail. The ropes were as tight, if not tighter, than before._

_"Maybe," Little Joe could feel the ropes loosening up, "Where are we and who are those men?" He asked, though he was pretty sure he knew who the heavier set one was already._

_"I don't know. All they'd say is, we have a friend who has business with us." She was being honest, though she too had begun to suspect her ex finance. How could she not suspect such a thing? She knew of no one else to be suspicious of._

_Little Joe was elated when he managed to get the ropes off his wrists and hurried to get the ropes off of his legs, along with freeing his wife. Just then they heard footsteps. That being the case, they quickly looked around. They were relieved to see what seemed to be a back door. They hurried and opened it up. While they were disappointed to see it was just an opening to a storage area, they took a chance and hurried inside, hoping whoever was coming would think they had escaped altogether._


	5. Escape and Flight

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

**For the Love of a Brother**

**Chapter Five**

_The sky was turning bluer by the minute as Simon cussed Tyler and James out for letting Little Joe and Carolyn escape. "I told you to keep them here until I got back from some personal business!" The man was furious as he had planned on killing Little Joe, pinning the blame on his cousin and taking Carolyn into the Wyoming Territory with him. The last thing he'd wanted was to find himself standing outside the shack knowing he had to find the two Cartwrights before they got home. The way he saw it now, he'd have no choice but to kill them both. After all, they would be able to connect him to trouble once he, his cousin and brother caught up with them._

_"We did!" James yelled back just as loud. He was just as upset as Simon was. "I don't know how they got loose, or got out without us knowing it!" He didn't either, and it was driving him crazy. _

_Little Joe and Carolyn could hear the shouting as the angry words were exchanged. How could they not? There were pin sized holes through the wall of the storage room. Thank goodness they were spread out though, and no huge ones existed, though the tiny holes did let in just enough light to make it so the two of them could at least see each other. "What are we goin' do?" Carolyn mouthed to her husband. She didn't dare to actually speak; after all, that would only invite trouble. After all, if she and Little Joe could hear Simon and the men with him, they would surely be able to hear them._

_"Nothing for now," Little Joe whispered, as his eyes looked around the small room, noting the flour, sugar and a few bag, which he guessed to be full of either beans or cornmeal, all items he knew their men had kept stocked in the line shacks at one time. When he turned his head to his left, he was shocked to see a pistol lying within reach. He grabbed it and hurried to see if it had any bullets. He groaned when he saw only two bullets within its chambers. There had to be more, there just had to be. "Look for more ammunition." He mouthed to Carolyn as he pointed the gun in his hands. She nodded, her eyes wide as both began looking._

_While Little Joe searched, Carolyn moved quietly but quickly around the small room doing the same. She looked on the small built in shelves, even standing on the tips of her toes in order to see on the top shelf in hopes of finding ammunition. She looked as hard as she could, but found nothing but old coffee cans and a small amount of cutlery. "We can't go out there." Carolyn mouthed again. "There's three of them and there's not extra bullets in here." She didn't like it, no not one little bit._

_Little Joe started to answer her but suddenly stopped when he heard the front door open. He grabbed her and quickly and ducked down behind some boxes, just in case whoever was coming into the shack opened the storage door. While no one did, Little Joe could hear someone moving around. He found himself holding his breath, as did his wife. Only when they heard a door open and close did they let out a sigh of relief, though the two of them strained to hear what the voices outside were saying. Since the three men were no longer yelling, it was hard to hear exactly what they were saying._

"_We need to find them!" Simon spoke sharply, though he did not raise his voice. "They can't have gotten far. I'll go east, James, you head west, and Tyler, you go south. We'll meet back here in two hours." He was certain they would find them in that amount of time._

"_What about the north?" James snapped; he didn't like leaving the shack. There was something he could not put his finger on, but with the stress Simon was putting him under, he could not think straight. If he had, he would have thought to actually do a thorough search of the shack, including a good look in the storage room in the process. As it was, he assumed the two had actually gotten past him and escaped._

"_What about the north!" Fortunately, this time the man raised his voice loud enough of Little Joe to make out every word. When he did that, it set James and Tyler off. "Nothing up that way, but rocks and cliffs, why would they head that way! No, I tell you, they'll head back to the Cartwright's home or Virginia City! Now let's get going!" He continued hollering, as he headed for his horse._

_James didn't like it; he didn't agree with him, but Simon was his older brother. Ever since their parents had died, the man had taken care of him, watched out for him and did everything he could to take care of him until he reached adulthood. That being the case, he headed for his horse. "Hurry up, Tyler," he barked as he mounted his horse, "we have to find them!"_

_Like James, Tyler didn't like it, but he too felt obligated to do as he'd been told to. After all, Little Joe had stolen Simon's gal away from him "for the mere love of money" and his cousin deserved to get her back. "This better be worth it!" he grumbled as he too mounted. Before long the three were out of sight._

"_Come on!" Little Joe grabbed Carolyn's hand, hurried out of the storage room and out the front door. However, he shocked his wife when he pulled out a small pocket knife and quickly carved the letters WL on the wooden door. _

"_What are you doing?" she asked, feeling her heart pounding a thousand miles a minutes as her eyes darted back and forth just knowing 'those men' would be back any minute._

_Joe too felt his heart pounding, "I'm leavin clues, jist like you did, that was smart thinking Carolyn." _

_Carolyn smiled at the compliment, glad she had told Joe of her clues while they had been in the storage room. Thank goodness the men had been yelling outside." Do you think Adam or Hoss will have found my clues?" _

"_Let's hope so. If they have, leaving them more will put their minds at rest and keep them looking for us. That being the case, I'm just leavin' Adam or Hoss a little note, one only they will understand," he replied. As he finished he put the small knife back into his pocket, took his wife's hand once more and hurried away from the cabin…heading north._


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

**For the Love of a Brother**

**Chapter Six**

Little Joe had been brought out of his thoughts as Carolyn came running into Adam's room to fetch him. It was now imperative he help his wife and Hop Sing cover Hoss with ice. His fever had gotten way too high and it was the only thing they could think of to bring his fever down. "Wish that doc would get here," Little Joe spoke sharper than he meant to, but he was terrified for his brother. It didn't help him that Adam was now running a slight fever also.

"Doctor get here soon," Hop Sing snapped back, trying his best to reassure the youngest Cartwright, "Jason good rider, ride fast." He purposely left off the fact that he too was growing worried as to why it was taking so long for the doctor to get there. When the door finally opened and Paul appeared they all sighed with relief.

They moved out of the way as Paul took over. "I'm sorry," the doctor spoke as he did the best he could to check Hoss despite all the ice around the man, "but Mrs. Higgins had her baby at two in the morning. I got home at three, and then I overslept."

"Don't worry 'bout it; we need to think about my brothers at the moment." Joe didn't like how long the doctor was taking; then again, he was far too anxious and that made it worse. How could he not be that way? He was supposed to be on his honeymoon and, instead, he was doing what he could to help two brothers fight for their lives. If Carolyn hadn't been present, he'd have turned the air blue while cursing Simon Bywater and his two relatives.

"Well," Paul answered as he put his stethoscope away, "I don't know how high his temperature was when you put the ice on him, but it's come down to a level that's not so worrisome." He reached into his bag and pulled out some new powders. "Give him two tablespoons of this instead of the other I gave you. It's stronger and, apparently, he needs it that way. I'll go check in on Adam. I assume your father is with him?" Paul figured that was a stupid question. After all, the man wasn't in Hoss' room; where else could he be?

Little Joe nodded and told the doctor of the additional threat against his oldest brother's life. He hated it. Adam was hurt bad enough as it was, why should he have to fight an infection and fever on top of it? Paul merely shook his head as he closed his bag, picked it back up and hurried over to Adam's room.

With Hoss' fever down and Paul checking in on Adam, Little Joe sat down on the chair next to Hoss' and watched as Carolyn continued tending to this giant of a brother he'd been blessed with. He couldn't die any more than Adam could. The man had, somewhere in his life, become the glue that held the ranch together; even his father had stated that on more than once. No, the man upstairs just had to wait for any of his brothers; the two men were still needed on the ranch. Weren't they? Again his mind wandered back through time.

_ Simon's thinking that they'd have no reason to hightail into the rocky and, sometimes, treacherous terrain had a good foundation. Little Joe and Carolyn continued stepping over, or around extremely small "boulders" and working their way around larger ones, when they weren't simply running over stones lying in a naturally formed "path"._

_ "What were those initials for?" Carolyn asked as they found a shady, and protected, spot to rest up. "I mean, WL, the ones you carved on that door." She'd been curious as all get out as to how those initials would be a clue for his family, if they ever saw it._

_ "Wonderland," Little Joe answered, grinning as he did so, "It's what we called this area as young boys. Always said it was a wonder anything would even think of passing through such a place." There was a faraway look in his eye as he spoke, days of yesteryear running through his mind as he spoke._

_ "Tell me about it, whatever you're remembering that is." Carolyn loved a good story and, with the things the way they were at the moment, she could sure use the distraction._

_ Little Joe gave in and started talking, though he kept his eyes wide open for any signs the men had caught on to where they'd fled to and may have followed. "Nothing much to tell, only that Adam, Hoss and I would on a few occasions, for whatever reason, find our way up here and start having discussions on life; life in general that is. We had some pretty good talks." His voice faded as an eerie feeling settled over him. He didn't like it fearing it meant only the worst scenario could play out before the next few days were over._

_ "Is there water nearby?" Carolyn asked as she looked around. She was getting thirsty and wanted a drink._

_ Little Joe nodded and took her hand. "There's a small pond with huge boulders surrounding it. It's not too far from here." He once again took her hand and started leading her the way he'd done for the past few hours._

_ While Little Joe and his bride were making their way to the water hole, Adam and Hoss were talking with Roy and the men helping them search for their baby brother and new sister-in-law; they'd reached the line shack, searched it and found evidence of someone having spent time in it. _

_ "I don't know where they could have gone to…" Roy started to speak only to have Hoss interrupt him._

_ "Hey, now Roy, slow down a might, they've been leaving clues. Maybe, we should take a look 'round the place." suggested Hoss. _

_Adam and Roy started turning over furniture. Adam went to the mattress and upturned it hoping he might find something under it, while Roy looked in the small store room next to the potbellied stove._

"_I reckon there was someone in here," yelled Roy._

_Adam ran to the room, and then both he and Roy stood back and surveyed the small habitat. "There's only one way out, though Roy," said Adam. _

_Hoss moved to the door frame, "Hey Adam, iff'n we'd slowed down when we come through the door, look what we'd have seen!" He stood next to the door and pointed to the letters he'd seen carved into the door._


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

**For the Love of a Brother**

**Chapter Seven**

A cool breeze blew the Cartwright's front yard as Little Joe and Ben stood on the porch, while Carolyn rocked in chair behind them knitting. Dr. Martin and his assistant had chased them out of the house telling all of them to get at least half hour of fresh air. They didn't know why; it's not like their minds were doing anything but thinking about Adam and Hoss' and being by their bed sides, watching, praying and waiting for any signs of improvement.

Little Joe hadn't meant to, but before he knew it he'd spoken the one thought that had haunted him since he, Roy and the other men had brought his brothers home. "They wouldn't be up there if I'd just stayed at the cabin. You know, Adam, Hoss and the others arrived at the line shack a mere forty five minutes after we left. That is, the time he gave me when I asked him tells me it was only that short amount of time. " If only he had known they were so close, he'd never had taken Carolyn and fled.

Ben shook his head as he put his hand on Little Joe's shoulder. "You did what you had to do. There was no way for you to know they were heading your way. Don't blame yourself for this…" he paused; his voice trembled slightly as he fought to keep his composure. He had to; for the sake of his youngest he had too. Ben felt his heart breaking at the mere thought of the other possibility, but it had to be voice and Little Joe needed to let go of the guilt he was carrying, "don't blame yourself if…if we lose one, or both. And I don't even want to think about what could have happened if you had stayed and been discovered. It's not your fault."

Little Joe swallowed hard and rested his hand on his father's arm for a moment, and then turned around. "It's been thirty minutes; I'm goin' inside." He wasn't surprised when his father followed him.

Dr. Martin was just coming down the stairs when the Cartwrights walked through the door. "Paul?" Ben wasn't sure what to make of the solemn look up on his friend's face, and that made him nervous. It might not have been so concerning, but Jack, the man's assistant, was still upstairs.

Paul wanted to tell this family everything would be all right, but that was something that he could not guarantee any of his patients. "Hoss is asking for you, but Ben," the man paused then shook his head, "Keep it short. His fever might not be what it was, but it's still on the high side. He's not out of the woods yet."

The fact that Hoss was even awake, gave Ben and his family a sense of hope they'd not had for days. Ben searched the man's face and cautiously asked, "What about Adam?" When he left Adam's room his son's fever, though not as high as Hoss' had been, was still on the high side and he wasn't moving muscle.

"I don't know, Ben. He's in a bad way. Jack's with him right now. All we can do is hope and pray." Paul made his way to the door. Once he was gone, Ben and Little Joe practically flew up the stairs. Ben went to see Hoss and Little Joe made his way into Adam's room.

Hoss was still looking pale as Ben sat beside his bed. "Good to see you awake, son. Paul said you wanted to see me, but I don't think you should try to talk right now. You're still in need of rest." He didn't want him to push it, not yet anyway.

"Where's Little Joe? Carolyn, better yet, what happened? Where's Adam?" Hoss kept his eyes on his father.

Ben rubbed his palms together and did his best not to lie to his son, though he chose his words carefully. He didn't want to risk worrying Hoss in his condition. "Everyone is home, Hoss. Adam's lying down and sleeping. I suggest you do the same." He wiped the perspiration off his son's forehead as Hoss closed his eyes and mumbled something incoherent before slipping into sleep once more.

**0000**

Jack was just finishing changing the cloth bandages on Adam when the youngest Cartwright walked in. Little Joe waited until the man had left before he sat beside Adam's bed, took his brother's warm unresponsive hand in his and let his mind again turn to past events.

_The sun was beating down upon the rocks, as Little Joe scooped the water from the pond up into his palms and brought the water up to his mouth. He dared not bend down to get the drink, as he did not know if Simon would "get lucky" and realize where they had indeed gone. He began plotting an alternative route home, one his adversary might not be aware of._

_Carolyn, who had been studying her husband's face, in between glances of their surroundings, asked, "You think they'll change their mind and come this way?" She hated the idea, if only they'd found more bullets in that blasted room. It would have been so much better and would have made her feel a whole lot more secure._

_"I don't know." Little Joe answered, "but we are going to do something. When we left that place it's not like I had time to gather any food." He knew they'd have to have that or grow weak from hunger. He was shocked when Carolyn started grinning and chuckling. He watched in amazement as she pulled out a ton of beef jerky out from her skirt pockets. _

"_I got them from that storage room when we first went in. I thought you saw me, but I guess you didn't." She was beaming at the fact she'd "saved the day". Right or wrong, she loved it. Maybe, it was that man versus women thing. Who knew? She didn't; she just took the time to enjoy the fact that she had been of help rather than helpless._

_While the two ate on a bit of the jerky, Adam and Hoss were pushing their horses northward, along with Roy and Jason. Adam and his middle brother didn't know exactly where they'd find Little Joe, but they surmised, correctly, water would be a prime need and have a lot to do with Joe's decision when it came to the path he'd follow._

_Everything would have been just fine, but James had finally calmed down enough to remember the storage room and he too had turned the sky blue with his language. Pushing his horse hard, he'd arrived back just in time to hide himself and hear everything Adam and Hoss were telling the other men. The moment the men were gone, James was both kicking himself and heading off in the direction Simon had chosen to follow. Once he'd found him, the two had raced back to the hut, to see if Tyler had gotten it into his head to return early. While he hadn't, he did arrive within minutes after they had. It didn't take long for the three to agree they also had to head north; that is, only after Simon assured them he knew a route other than the one James had seen the search party take._


	8. Found and An Injured Hoss

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

**For the Love of a Brother**

**Chapter Eight**

_Simon, Tyler and James sat under a tree and took out some jerky and apples they had with them. It was almost two o'clock in the afternoon and their stomachs were telling them that the early morning breakfast they'd had was not fueling their much needed energy. None of them spoke as they ate, all were lost in their own thoughts._

_James, who had wisely left the other two in the dark when it came to the fact that they'd left the storage room unchecked or that Hoss had pointed to something on the door that apparently had given the men a clue, he'd simply told them that Adam had taken his men north. He was busy kicking himself for not thinking about that storage room. Why had he let himself assume the two had simply escaped? Oh, they were questions he knew he couldn't really answer, but he asked them anyway. After all, his lack of thinking had caused his cousins and him time, time that could have been used heading to California._

_Tyler, who never let his eyes rest, was keeping a constant look out for "anything unusual" as he ate. While he kept his eyes opened he thought on the continuing delays when it came to the trip to California. The more he thought on it, the more his blood boiled. Why did Joe Cartwright have to go courting Carolyn in the first place? Simon would have won her back eventually; at least, that's the lie he told himself. By the time he finished his lunch, James was more than ready to get back to searching for the two escapees. After all, they had to find Little Joe and Carolyn before they could get to talk to the sheriff or any of their family._

_Simon stood up and stretched while silently cursing again. He had better things to do than to chase Little Joe and Carolyn, only his pride wouldn't let him quit. "Come on," he barked as he headed for his horse, "Time's a wastin' and we don't have any to spare!" He got no argument from the two men as they too headed for their horses. Truth was, Simon only said that to get his brother and cousin moving faster; his pride wanted Little Joe dead that bad._

_The three loathsome scoundrels might have taken time to stop, rest and eat, but Adam, Hoss and the men with them had continued riding hard. That being the case, they were at the edge of the area Little Joe and Carolyn has lead them to believe they were headed for, before the other men ever took a step towards their horses._

_"There's a lot of ground to cover, Adam." Hoss looked around at the rocks, shrubbery and the few trees that dotted the scenery before their eyes. _

_"I know." Adam turned to Roy as he waved his hand from one side to the other, "Let's split this party up into two and start looking." He was anxious to continue the search, feeling strongly that it was imperative that they find his little brother and sister-in-law as soon as possible._

_"All right," Roy answered as he saw no reason to object. He turned to Jason, "Take these men," he pointed to Michael and Michael's blonde hair nephew, "and start searchin'. Me and my men will stick with Adam and Hoss."_

_"As you wish, sheriff," Jason waved his hand through the air, motioning for the two men to follow him; they did. _

_While the two groups searched, Little Joe and Carolyn were trying to decide whether or not to wait where they were or if they should find a "better spot". "I don't like the idea of moving around too much," Carolyn told her husband as she looked around, "There's at least water and shade here." Okay, there was a steep embankment nearby and who knew what animals might wander by; still, the two things they did have made it worth staying. At least, in her eyes it did. "Besides," she added, "you already left those letters on the door of the shack. If we start wandering around, how will anyone who is looking for us find us?"_

_Little Joe knew she had two very valid points, so why was he getting one very uncomfortable feeling? It bothered him to no end. He didn't like it when he got feelings like the one that he had now. He pulled out the gun they'd found in the storage room and checked the barrel for the two bullets they had.. If only those men hadn't taken his own gun, he'd feel much better about the situation. "I just don't like feeling like a sitting duck is all. It makes me nervous."_

_Carolyn couldn't blame him as she felt the same way. Still, clues had been left and she wanted to believe that those clues had indeed been found. That being the case, she couldn't see moving around and making it harder for whoever found the clues, "I know." She stood up and looked around. There was little to see._

_Just as she was about to sit back down, she let out a cry of joy. Little Joe jumped to his feet. He couldn't believe it. "Adam! Hoss!" He called out as he saw his brothers and Roy headed towards them. It didn't take long for the men to join the two missing people. _

_Unfortunely, Tyler, who had separated from James and Simon, having the same idea as Adam, heard their voices echo.. The man hurried up the side of the hill he was on. Sure enough he saw Hoss, Roy and Adam just as they dismounted their horse. He'd have just shot Little Joe or Caroline, but unknown to his cousins, he had a private beef with Hoss; the man had been the one to help uncover the key evidence used against him at his trial. Seeing how Hoss was standing near the embankment, Tyler let his own personal agenda get in the way. He stood up and fired._

_The moment Hoss was hit he staggered and fell down the side of the embankment. Adam whirled around and spotted Tyler. In one swift movement, Adam pulled his gun and fired, shooting the man and killing him instantly. It didn't take long for Adam and the others to get to Hoss' side, including Caroline as she downright insisted, ignoring Joe's order to stay covered. _

"_He's still breathing." Adam hurried to get the bleeding stopped. "But his leg looks funny; I think it's busted." While Adam and Roy were looking over Hoss, one of the men hurried back up the side of the hill and grabbed a small axe from his saddle bag. It didn't take long for the man to separate branches from a fallen tree and for a Travois to be built, ropes to be secured to the horses up above and for Hoss to be hauled up the embankment. _

_Oblivious to the still impending danger, or the true mastermind behind the kidnapping attempt, Little Joe told Adam and the others, "We have to get him home and there's still the other man to worry about." _

"_What about Simon," Carolyn interjected, "Those men were waiting for Simon; I just know it! It's Mr. Bywater that is behind this." She put her hands on her hips, "And no, I can't prove that."_

"_Let's not worry about that right now," Little Joe said as he mounted Hoss' horse and helped Carolyn up. "Let's worry about getting Hoss home and that bullet out." No one argued as they headed back for the Ponderosa, nor did they see the riders coming from the west. _


	9. Adam shot

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

**A.N. To my anonymous reviewer, ****Elyse. I have inserted a note into Chapter One why this is labeled Hoss and Adam.**

**For the Love of a Brother**

**Chapter Nine**

_"What was Tyler thinking?" For the hundredth time, Simon hissed out loud, as he and James pushed their horses hard. He wanted to get ahead of Little Joe, Caroline and the others. He would've just caught up with them while they were securing Hoss to the travois, but he'd seen what Adam and Little Joe had not, the other men heading their way. Simon was furious as all get out. He just wanted this whole mess over with. _

_"I don't know," James snapped as he added, "Does it really matter now?" James himself was highly irritated by this time. He had not argued with trying to get a head of the group as he figured most of the men would have left long before them, Little Joe, Caroline and his brothers, ever reached home. But now he was having second thoughts. After all, his brother was starting to act more like a obsessed crazed maniac rather than a love sick scorned fiancé trying to get his girl back._

_"Course it does! His stupidity not only got him killed," Simon growled,"but has put us now at a bit of a disadvantage! In case you haven't noticed we are now outnumbered! And when the Sheriff gets back to town, we'll be wanted men. " The two fell into silence as they pushed to reach their goal._

_Simon was indeed becoming a man more crazed than anything, only he was right when it came to the other men. Jason had left the group, pushing his horse towards Virginia City and the doctor he knew Hoss needed. Roy had told the other men to go home and get some rest while he went ahead and started working on wiring the surrounding towns and the other lawman know that Simon and James were now wanted by the law. All of the search party had left, all but Michael; He insisted on seeing the Cartwrights home._

_Little Joe, Adam and Caroline had stopped even though they could see the house off in the distance. The ropes to the travois had loosened themselves once again and the contraption, slopped sideways, making it difficult for the horses to pull it. "It's got to be his weight." Adam looked at Joe as Michael and he worked on securing the travois, though he had to admit he couldn't see how. They'd had to pull him on one in the past, and it had not been a problem. _

_"Maybe I should go for a wagon," Michael stepped away from the horse. _

_Adam shook his head, "We can see the house from here," he pointed in the direction of the house, "You've it secured enough; it should make it home. It would…" his sentence was cut off when he heard a noise off to his right. They all looked at each other wondering if Simon was nearby. _

_"Get moving, I'm going to check it out." Adam had the words out of his mouth and had disappeared before Little Joe or the other two could protest. They started to head down the slopes towards the house again, only to have Simon and James step out in front of them, their guns drawn._

_"Drop your guns slowly." Simon, who just assumed Adam was missing because he'd left with the other men, barked at Little Joe and Michael. For a split second the two thought about trying to draw on them, but with Caroline with them, they simply did as they were told._

_"Why are you doing this? We have done nothing to you!" Caroline demanded, even if she did doubt the man would answer. She was just trying to stall for time hoping something would happen to stop the two men._

_Simon, too angry about his "misfortunes," started laughing wildly, "I don't have to answer that, but," he cocked his pistol and pointed it at Little Joe, "He ain't gonna live to lay another finger on you." Then he waved his spare hand at James, who had his gun aimed at Caroline, " and I only have to give the word, and James here will make sure you don't get to live happily ever after either, as far as I'm concerned you can join him; for better and worse. That's how it goes, Right?"_

_Hoss groaned from the travois, but Simon didn't take his eyes off Joe, "You!" he motioned to Michael, "move" he ordered indicating to go and stand by Hoss' side, which the man reluctantly did. "We'll worry about you two later."_

_None of them knew exactly what made Adam stop looking, or how he'd known they hadn't gone any further than the spot he'd left them. All they knew was one minute Simon and James pulled their triggers and the next Adam threw himself in between the killers and them. _

_Caroline's screams could be heard as Adam fell. Little Joe and Michael dove for their guns, then instantly drew and fired with precision. Before they knew what hit them, Simon and James, who had allowed the appearance of Adam to startle them enough to allow for the precious seconds needed for Michael and Little Joe to reach their guns and fire, fell to the ground dead._

Little Joe eyes flew open and he found his heart pounding. It took a moment to realize he'd fallen asleep in the chair next to Adam's bed. He'd been dreaming again. He took a few minutes to allow his heart to start beating normal before feeling Adam's forehead. "Adam, please, you don't have a fever anymore, wake up. Please wake up before it's my turn to sit with Hoss." Little Joe's voice cracked. Hoss had been on the mend, only to take a turn for the worse. He didn't know how much more his family could take of this. His brothers just had to wake up; they just had to.


	10. For the Love of a Brother

I do not own Bonanza or any of the original Cartwright characters.

**For the Love of a Brother**

**Chapter Ten**

A nice soft breeze blew across Hoss' face. He stood confused as he looked around and saw that he was standing at the edge of a clearing, yet felt as if a wall was in front of him. He couldn't believe what he saw. He recognized the tall blonde woman sitting under a tree with his soul rather than his eyes, but it was her, he felt it was her, he knew it was her. Inger was sitting under a huge pine tree with a small lamb in her arms talking to it. She had the most beautiful smile upon her face as she talked to the small animal. There were others, men, women and small children, laughing and talking as they walked through the tall green grass, all were apparently oblivious to the fact he was watching them.

"Nice picture isn't it?"

Hoss had shock waves run through him as he turned his head at the familiar voice. Adam was now standing next to him. What was going on? "What happened? Where are we?"

Adam sighed as he remembered his mother's explanation to him, just moments before Hoss arrived, of how things worked. He turned away from the clearing and nodded his head in the other direction. "We're in between here and there."

Hoss' eyes turned towards where Adam was looking and his widened when he saw his father sitting, head bowed, by his bed and Little Joe doing the same next to Adam's. Slowly, he remembered hearing the sound of a rifle and falling down the embankment, but Adam? "What happened?"

Adam recited everything that had taken place after Hoss had been shot. "I couldn't just stand, hidden from view, and watch those men kill Joe and Carolyn. They have their whole future ahead of them and the future of the Ponderosa."

"So, what happens now?" Hoss asked as he looked away from his father to the field. He felt so torn as he wanted to go to both places.

Adam put his hand on his hips and shrugged his shoulders. "My mother told me this is only a place to decide, not to stay. Most of the time when a person leaves earth, they are simply called back. However, sometimes, a person is given a choice." He turned his eyes away from his earthly family and back at the image before his eyes only. Adam was seeing his mother, Elizabeth, sitting in what looked to be a library reading a book. "We have to make a choice." He stood erect and spoke clearly.

Hoss didn't like that. He didn't like having to choose between finally getting to know a mother he never knew or the father who had borne the burden of raising him, for the most part, without the help of a mother. There were his animals to think about to. Who would tend to them if he left? "What are ya gonna do?" He turned his eyes to his older brother who stood looking as if he was deep in thought and a thousand miles away.

What was he gonna do? Adam was tired. He'd spent years traveling from one place to another with his father as the man followed his dream. By the time they'd reached the west he was almost grown. He'd worked alongside his father, helped raise Hoss and, when they lost Marie, did the same with Little Joe. Now, he found himself wanting something different, but did he have to leave his human existence to do it? "I don't know," he answered slowly as he sat down upon a nearby tree stump, or at least that's what it looked it, "but we have to decide soon or," he rested his chin on top of his clasped hands, "the decision will be made for us."

As if someone knew the two men needed some gentle encouragement to make the right decision, both found their mothers next to them, though they also found themselves to be what felt like miles away from each other.

Elizabeth gave her son a gentle smile, "When one is given a choice, it is not so easy to make." Her smile felt as if it wrapped itself around his very being doing what it could to help ease his troubled mind.

"What do I do?" Adam looked back towards his father and youngest brother filled with guilt at the thought of leaving, but wanting to move forward too.

Elizabeth laid her hand against her son's upper arm and quietly answered, "You do what you feel is right for you, son."

Hoss could see the struggle his brother was having and felt the same struggle inside of him. He'd never felt so torn in all his life. What was he supposed to do? That was a question he too repeated. He received much the same answer from Inger.

**0000**

Hoss opened his eyes. Ben was sitting next to his bed, his head hung down and his shoulders looked as if he had the weight of the world upon them. "Pa," Hoss' voice reached up and lifted his father's drooping head up, "How long have I been out?"

Ben's heart felt as if was soaring and tears filled his eyes for joy. "Close to a week son; we about lost you a time or two. Doc told us last night you would be just fine. It's good to have you awake and talking."

"Yeah," While Little Joe's face showed how happy he was that Hoss was awake, his voice still cracked as he stepped inside the room, "It's about time you woke up," smiled Joe. He had to try and kid his brother as his heart was in a million pieces and needed something to heal it.

The fact that both his father and brother were overjoyed to see him awake was clear, but Hoss saw something else in their eyes and his heart sunk. _"We have to decide soon."_ Adam's words came back to him and he felt his heart breaking. "Adam? I saw Adam; I thought I was dreaming…" Hoss' voice trailed off as he continued looking upon his father and youngest brother.

Ben felt his heart stop as he fought to control himself. It felt as if though someone was reaching into the very center of him and twisting him up inside as his mind started replaying the scene that had taken place just that morning.

_Ben leaned over Adam's bed as his oldest son's eyes opened while Little Joe stood at the foot, Carolyn had went to sit with Hoss. At first, they were overjoyed as they thought that meant Adam would indeed pull through. However, that joy was short lived as Adam smiled weakly up at them both and spoke softly, "It's been a great ride, hasn't it pa?"_

_Ben felt a lump in his throat as he remembered how many times he and Adam had said that to each other through the years. At that moment pain he hadn't felt in years again stabbed at his heart. They were losing Adam and there was nothing he could do to stop it. "Yeah, it has been."_

_Little Joe fought the pain and anger he found inside himself. "No, Adam, the ride ain't over yet. We still have many more to go on." Even as he said the words he could feel his brother slipping away._

_Adam looked into Little Joe's eyes and saw the guilt the man was insisting on claiming. "Don't blame yourself, Joe. I made my choice, for the love of a brother I did it, and I don't regret it. If anyone is to blame, it's Simon." Adam turned his hand up, too weak to lift it; Joe rushed to his oldest brother's side and took a hold of the offered hand, "I chose to do what I did. I want to go home now." He paused and then continued, "Please, let me go." Adam looked away from Joe, though he kept his fingers around his baby brother's hand, and gazed upon his father's grief stricken face, the man's tears ran down his cheeks unrestrained, "Please," Adam whispered exhausted._

_While Ben could not bring himself to speak, he did nod, as did Joe. Adam turned his head as he looked up at a window only he could see and at the top of a hill that sat against the clear blue sky of early morning. His eyes lit up with joy, let go of Little Joe's hand, and smiled with his usual cheeky grin as he said, "So, Mother, What are you reading?"_

"You weren't dreaming." Ben swallowed hard and straightened out Hoss' blanket, "We'll talk about it later. For now, just rest son, just rest," As soon as Hoss' eyes closed, he and Little Joe left the room to give the gentle giant the recovery time he needed.

Neither Ben nor Little Joe spoke a word as the made their way downstairs where Carolyn stood staring into the empty fireplace, still in shock over Adam's passing. Little Joe made his way to his wife and held on for all he was worth. Ben simply walked outside to sit on the porch knowing things would never be the same without Adam; how could they be. Still, he knew the family would hold onto each other and move forward. His first born son wouldn't want it any other way.

**Epilogue**

Ben stood on the porch and smiled. He was watching Little Joe and Carolyn kneeling five feet apart and holding their hands out as his first grandson walked, very unsteadily, from his father to his mother. The birth of his first grandchild, Francis Adam Cartwright, or "Frank", had been a blessed event, even if the hole in their hearts was still healing.

As he watched the scene before him, Hoss and his fiancée, a young widow by the name of Miranda Hansen, walked up beside him. "Adam would love that little tyke," Hoss told his father, "you reckon he knows about him? Reckon he knows how much we still miss him?"

Ben smiled wider as he turned to look at Hoss. His thoughts on the few times he'd felt Adam's presence nearby, times when he needed him the most. "Yes, son, I do. I really do."


End file.
